Revival
“MASSACRE” AT TODD BENTLEY REVIVAL IN NORWAY
August 22, 2012 Posted by John
Satire
http://justjohnwright.com/print/massacre-at-todd-bentley-revival-in-norway/
“A bloodbath” is how one Norwegian pastor described the scene at a Christian event featuring controversial U.S. preacher Todd Bentley.
Bentley’s visit to Norway this week started off innocently enough. But it wasn’t long before the fears of many over the violence of his ministry were realised. Bentley, who held his first revival meeting tonight in the Norwegian town of Slavenger, started the healing portion of the night by giving a man a ‘wedgie in the Spirit’ while praying for him.
“He picked him up by his underwear. The man was yelling in pain. It was completely inappropriate. And that was only the beginning,” sobbed one attendee. “We were warned by the British. We should have listened.”
Bentley, who is known for drowning people at their baptisms, planned to visit the United Kingdom next week, but the British Home Office added him to an ‘exclusion’ list, saying: “The government makes no apologies for refusing people access to the UK if we believe they are not conducive to the public good.” Bentley was flagged by a Member of Parliament who was concerned about the violent nature of his ministry.
During the course of almost two hours in Slavenger, Bentley’s team brought a steady stream of the unsuspecting faithful to the stage to be subjected to the evangelist’s unique brand of prayer and physical assault. An elderly woman was punched in the groin for healing of a cancer which had metastasised in her pelvis. A teenage girl was slapped repeatedly in the face by Bentley for healing of her sinuses. A Drammen-based attorney was subjected to close-range flatulence, when Bentley told him that God had told him to pass wind close to his head.
“When Jesus calls, you better pick up the ****ing phone,” Bentley is quoted as yelling.
One man knew that things had gone too far when his brother appeared on the stage for prayer. “Things got really serious when Jørgen went up there,” he observed.
Jørgen Bjercke, who went to see Bentley in a wheelchair, was stabbed in the legs multiple times with Bentley’s ball-point pen.
“It got pretty bloody,” said the man’s brother, who asked not to be named in this piece for fear of retaliation from Bentley. “He just kept shouting ‘Can you feel that? Can you feel that? Can you feel that? What about that? What about that!’ It was terrifying.”
A member of the church that invited Bentley said that many Christians believe in the supernatural power of God. “You’ve got to have faith. We often see people stabbed in the Spirit, it’s perfectly biblical.”
Bentley, captured by mobile phone camera wearing a butcher’s apron during the event, denies that he did anything inappropriate.
“Look, this is God’s work. If you don’t want to listen to God, that’s fine. But go and ask Abraham whether it’s okay to spill a little blood when the Lord tells you to. Okay?” he said afterwards.
The night proceeded to get more gory as time went on, as the helpless worshippers continued to be roughed up by Bentley one after the other. Many in the congregation began to leave after Bentley began picking up speakers and other pieces of the audio equipment and throwing them at people queuing up for prayer at the side of the stage.
“BAM! BAM! BAM!” he is reported to have said as each congregant went down. “Now that’s what I call slaying in the Spirit!”
A local Lutheran clergyman said the practices did not resemble any he could remember reading in the bible. “No, I can’t remember Jesus doing any of this,” he said, gazing as Bentley started ripping cymbals from the drum kit. “Certainly Jesus wanted us to pray for others, but this is a little unusual.”
38 people in all were treated in hospital for wounds incurred at the hands of Bentley, according to the police. There were also 7 deaths; 3 people were suffocated, 2 were crushed, 1 poisoned and 1 decapitated on-stage.
“A massacre. There’s no other way to say it,” observed a local police officer called to the scene. “If only Norway had a government that cared for its people like the British do, this would never have happened. The people of the UK should be proud to have such stringent protection from their Home Office.”
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(Satire.)
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44 COMMENTS
Jesus
August 24, 2012 at 5:32 pmYayy! So fun! Hehe I’m proud of him : )
Brandon Barthrop
August 25, 2012 at 6:13 amThis is some of the finest satire I’ve ever read. I’m going to be lmao all day after reading this. Great job!
konain
August 25, 2012 at 10:10 ambe aware of the dangers of Todd Bentley guys, he never learned from the past, watch out for this killing pastor.
that
August 25, 2012 at 12:28 pmAmazing todd.heheheh!I love it!yyyyaaaay! Deaths!lol!decapitaions!heheheh!norway receive ur blessing.
Anonymous
August 27, 2012 at 11:36 amThis is All such blatant lies. It’s not even worth addressing, it’s so ludicrous
Judy
December 22, 2012 at 6:54 amIf He really did kill people on stage, why is he not in jail, charged with murder, bodily assault causing death, etc.? How can he not be arrested???? I question the results like decapitation on stage with all those witnesses and no charges.
Olutola daniel
December 22, 2012 at 8:02 amWell, where is the prosecutor’s evidence of todds assault. My advice for us is to let God be the judge, for whatever God has not planted cannot lastlong ok! As for me, though i have not being in todds ministry live but i have read some of his books and its based on the word of God. My prayer for him is for God to complete what’s lacking in him.
John
December 27, 2012 at 8:08 amThe above piece is satire.
AM
December 30, 2012 at 8:14 amI hope all these people lay assault charges and put this maniac in jail. To stab a paralyzed limb is the most stupid thing anybody can do: it can take forever to heal, infection can set in, and the limb can end up being amputated.This is not God’s work. When you look at Jesus’ ministry, He never did anything that harmed a person when He ministered healing. If you use your discernment, you will know that this is not the Holy Spirit in operation.Meanwhile satan is having a good laugh at how stupid Christians have become……Just because we are Christians and believe in supernatural experiences such as healing, does not mean we have to leave our brains on the shelf!May this man be exposed and removed before he causes anymore damage to anyone and to God’s Church.
AM
December 30, 2012 at 8:16 amOk John…….You got me good. Is this a satire? And here I was getting all worked up over nothing ;-)By the way, have you seen the video clip of his demon possessed new wife? Wonder if that’s a satire too….
John
January 10, 2013 at 9:03 amIt was satire. 🙂 I’m quite sure, however, that the video you refer to is a hundred percent real.
Mat
January 21, 2013 at 7:22 pmStupidity…going under the category of Satire? Well done
John
January 23, 2013 at 9:29 amMat- Understanding satire requires a knowledge of the public conversation which prompted it, as well as a sense of humor and at least average IQ.
Geir oFfenberg
January 24, 2013 at 4:14 amWell, written John, ive read it many times and laugh every time.
Exposing Pig Dogs
January 25, 2013 at 5:16 pmTodd Bentley has absolutely NOTHING to do with the God of the Bible. He is absolutely NOTHING more than a shameless conniving con man who learned that using the name of Jesus to front his scam is one of the easiest scams to do in the world to get everything he wants, sex, money and adoration.
PhilHunter
January 27, 2013 at 7:18 amI have been to a Todd Bentley meeting- one word AWESOME!!! he is so spirit filled and the word he preaches is direct from the bible…If you want to look at his ministry please do feel free to check out the bible…Also if you want to look and see if his ministry is from God then please check out his fruit- the bible states that nothing from the devil can heal or perform miracles… I have seen miracles happen at his meetings- as have many others… Only good trees can bear good fruit…God works in mysterious ways… Todd Bentley is certainly mysterious….
amrik
January 29, 2013 at 11:18 amThis article really is terrible and I would
stay Far from this bentley fellow. I’m a Born again christian of alost 23yrs and I dont see anything biblical in some of what Bentley has said and done. However if all this what is said to have happen at the meeting refured to in your article, why is’nt mr bentley behind bars? if folks have neeb killed and drowned and seriously assalted why is’nt this fellow bought to justice???
amrik
January 29, 2013 at 11:20 amThis article really is terrible and I would
stay Far from this bentley fellow. I’m a Born again christian of alost 23yrs and I dont see anything biblical in some of what Bentley has said and done. However if all this happen at the meeting refured to in your article, why is’nt mr bentley behind bars? if folks have been killed and drowned and seriously assalted why is’nt this fellow bought to justice???
amrik
January 29, 2013 at 12:13 pmHow Christians cant see the deception Just proofs they dont read there bible or they have no depth of revelation. Unfortunatly most christians are chasing manifestations (of any kind) and “miracles and signs”. They are ready to substitute these for knowing Jesus in his person. That is why Jesus said “many will say to me in that day have not done miracles in your name and cast out demons in your name? but I (Jesus) will say to them DEPART FROM ME YOU DOERS OF INIQUITY I DON’T KNOW YOU”
I watched the so called lakeland revival for a week, and there where 15 so calle people raised from the dead. Its just a bit funny that not one did or has come forward to testify. If God had raised me from the dead then I would have come forward to testify. Aspecially to the none believing.
Also for a man who claims to be so close to God it’s funny how he couldnt tell when a so called angel was talking with him or his fellow revivalists. I could go on but i time and space limit me. Todd and all others are answerable to God But we (each person) are responsible for who we follow. Lets not be so easily mislead, there was much that was unbiblical with Todds so called ministry.
Jesus said you will know them by there fruits. Whats the fruit of this mans
A: Todds life,
B;His ministry.
whats happen to his marriage?,
what happen to the revival?
Where are the proof of genuine healings? i.e. medical evidence.
As for the manifestations, they mean nothing because they are present in occult, cults and many eastern religions of which I was once a part. The question is how does the manifestation affected the person. Has it made them more like Jesus in the long run i.e, transformed there character to reflect his character. Or has it just sent you on a spirituall high whcih can be obtained in other cultic SPIRITUAL practices.
I cold go on but I Pray That we all (the Bdy of Christ Jesus on earth) would awake and do the genuine works of Jesus, which include healing the sick raising the dead etc….
Bless you all.
amrik
January 29, 2013 at 12:16 pmThose where my thoughts on the subject.
you decern for yourself. I’m still learning and I dont profess to know it all.
I’m just expressing my concerns…
amrik
January 29, 2013 at 12:21 pmWhere do we get this saying “God works in mysterious ways?”
Jesus didnt say he would be mysterious. He said we would know all things. The bible tells us that the mystry was hid and is now revealed.
we shouldnt be in the dark if we are childern of light….
Jeremy Fields
February 12, 2013 at 1:29 pmIt’s so funny to me how many people don’t know what satire means.. Ha ha. This was funny…stabbing a man in the legs with a ball point pen.. Genius
Share the same surname as this vile man
March 6, 2013 at 2:03 pmI’m asshamed to share the same surname as this vile man! The videos clearly show he is a sick man who is using Jesus’ name to his advantage! I think Amrik… You are spot on… The rest of u who find it funny… Imagine if it was ur family who had been kicked in the face! … Jesus certainly wouldn’t condone violence in this way!!!!!!!!!
John
March 15, 2013 at 5:50 amThe above article is satire.
Peter
April 26, 2013 at 5:16 amI believe in one thing that we must not judge.Let God Almighty be the judge because we all going to be judged by Him.Show me a perfect man.For those who are being judgemental,what are you doing for the sake of the Kingdom of God here on earth.
Cynthia
April 29, 2013 at 4:49 pmthis is a BIG crock of dribble from a sadly frightened person. (only frightened people attack what they can’t understand).
Nick
May 7, 2013 at 3:27 amOur senior Pastor spoke to Todd Bentley about the spitting in peoples faces and the kicking. He was explained that alot was taken out of context. The media didnt mention that at the following nights meeting, the person that was kicked screamed out from amongst the congregation that they were healed…definitely mysterious ways I would say…and I have personally attended the meetings and what I can say is the presence of God is almost tangible.
and Im so relieved that it is satire.
G
May 8, 2013 at 3:13 amWhat the heck! if he’d decapitated someone live on stage don’t you think the police would have jailed him for life? I know Todd bentley is a controversial character but I’m somewhat concerned about the accuacy of some of these reports.
John
May 9, 2013 at 10:11 amYes. .
Ansgar Braut
May 17, 2013 at 8:16 amThis is all a pack of lies. I was in meetings four nights on a row, and you wasent. He never said the word “bam” once:-/ There were no old woman, no man in wheelchair and Todd didnt have a “team”. I suppose you would be able to spell Stavanger correcley, if you realle was there????
Steven manthidi
May 18, 2013 at 12:55 amIf the sick are being healed, deaf r hearing and many more miracles being done in Jesus’s name , then well done Todd. The kingdom of God is at hand . This will upset da kingdom of satan and his followers. Viva Todd Bentley in the name of Jesus viva.
John
May 18, 2013 at 6:06 pmAnsgar- So he didn’t decapitate a man?
Graeme
May 22, 2013 at 2:34 amI don’t know what’s funnier, the hugely humorous article or the mad people who thought it was true. Well written John, I had a great laugh at the wedgie.
John
May 22, 2013 at 5:13 pmHaha thank you Graeme. Someone possesses a sense of irony.
Reality
June 15, 2013 at 1:51 amAnyone who has a shred of comon sence would know that Pastor Todd is an evil con artist who preys on the sick and elderly. Dateline NBC exposed him. Most of the people who stand up and say their illness is cured because of him, actually work for Todd. He cheated on his wife with someone at the church, divorced his wife and immediately married his mistress. I mean, this guy is banned from the UK!!! Red flag, maybe??!?? It is mind blowing that people give money to this evil, narcissistic crook. And Morning Star means “Satan”. Read between the lines people. Funny story though; I laughed. People believing this story was real really shows how naive people can be. And that’s just the type of people Pastor Todd is looking for. It’s really sad.
Chad Harvey
July 24, 2013 at 2:14 pmKudos for this one. At first, I was like “What? I know’s he’s extreme but surely not that bad.” Then I noticed it was satire and read it again. It’s hilarious. While he is not this extreme (yet), he is a very dangerous man who has no power of God at all but only the ability to use manipulative tactics to make people believe he is performing miracles which in reality are absent from his meetings. For a less satirical piece on Todd Bentley’s recent whereabouts and activity, read my article at http://www.policymic.com/articles/55961/from-the-south-to-south-africa-this-preacher-brings-disaster-everywhere-he-goes
John
August 5, 2013 at 9:59 amThanks Chad! 🙂
Paulette
August 15, 2013 at 9:59 pmTodd bentley sexually assaulted a little boy when he himself was 15 years old. He is a drug addict, adulterer, and his violence, by his own admission, involved beating his own mother on a regular basis. He is NOT saved and continues these hedonistic and evil behaviors.. why is ANYONE surprised?
Gabor
September 8, 2013 at 2:00 pmKnowing some basic European Law, how could some one ” decapitating, injuring” and so forth walk away free from such a scene? My guess is that you are lying. To my knowledge Mr Bently would be in prison if true!Moses as David were 1st degree murderers, and for the world renown Hymn “Amazing Grace” if I remember well the writer testifies that he used to rape and abuse… . Who am I writing about? And if I have to be perfect before I can become a Christian, what chance would I have? NONE!I would be lost without hope! So neither your facts add up nor your knowledge of the Holy Scriptures. Please read John 3 :16. That is a piece of writing in a book called “The Holy Bible. You can purchase one from most larger Book Shops. No I am not defending Mr Bentley,just attempting to put Facts straight.If this is who you are, below you are right in saying “Rogue” Sir I totally agree with you.Amen! About JohnJohn Wright is a rogue radio broadcaster, filmmaker and polemical writer. His daily radio show airs on AM in Arizona/California and online
Fred
December 15, 2013 at 1:37 pmJohn Wright – believing yourself clever with your satirical writings simply realizes you emotional immaturity and self-absorption. I hope the future is bright for you. You will have to grow emotionally.
Sarah
January 5, 2014 at 3:49 amI read the “wedgie” line, stopped and then I read it again and then I laughed and I realised right away that this was satire and good satire too. Why did so many people miss that? That’s more worrying than anything else on this page.
John
January 6, 2014 at 9:07 amSarah- I believe myself clever and will need to grow emotionally. But thank you for appreciating 😉
Alex Beemer
March 31, 2014 at 4:35 pmYou actually had me going… I caught on a bit when you started talking about deaths and decapitation, but still… just goes to show what I think he’s capable of lol
John
April 3, 2014 at 10:35 amI’m glad you saw the fun Alex. FYI this was not a parody at the expense of Todd Bentley. It was – much more interestingly – at the expense of the UK Home Office who banned Bentley from visiting the country, citing worries about the ‘violence’ of his ministry. I found this just laughable. (If you’re going to use government power to restrict freedom to move around the planet, I think there should be damned good reasons for it.) While there are isolated reports of Bentley’s nonsense including violence, I’m fairly certain he’s a lot less violent than many British people (who can’t be banned from the country) and that the threats posed by his visit were extremely overplayed. And in any case, I don’t think there can be much defense of using internet rumors to close international borders.
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We all know about #ToddBentleysViolentMinistry which in Legal Terms would be GBH and Common Assault. This is why there is an ExclusionOrder at the Home Office to stop him from entering the Country which God TV is hoping to bypass by refurbishing the derelict wreck of the legally non existent Prayer Revival Centre. Just by holding events in the derelict Building God TV are behaving both illegally and unlawfully under the Health and Safety at Work and on Construction site Acts (adapted) Todd ‘s Crimes by Morningstar Ministries giving him a Safe house makes him pervert the Course of Justice evading legal responsibility for crimes.
This must stop and Todd Morningstar God TV be made to pay for their Crimes.
The Governmental Goals of God TV Part II 